Motherhood Unscripted: Real Birth Stories of Strength and Resilience

Mother's Day is more than just a date on the calendar; it is a profound acknowledgment of the pivotal role mothers play in our lives. It is a day for reflection, gratitude, and celebration of the unconditional love and support mothers provide. By honoring mothers, we recognize the essence of motherhood and the invaluable contributions they make to our families and society.

“Being a mother is discovering strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you never knew existed..” – Linda Wooten

I am very sensitive to the broad spectrum of Mother’s Day. To some it brings joy and fulfilment. To others it can bring pain or resentment. We are not all mothers and not all had mothers, but I would like to bring to light the pure and raw power that women can have within them to bring new life into this world. To be an absolute bad ass that cannot be contended with. I am all about empowering women in their truest of forms and one that cannot be beat is motherhood. I would like to dedicate this letter to those that have given an ultimate sacrifice. Given entirely of themselves for other tiny humans in whichever shape or form.   

From Trauma to Triumph: My Journey to a Redeeming Birth

After the trauma of birthing my first son.. 46 hours later, 36 labouring at home, and 10 hours of provider abuse by medical professionals in a hospital, pieces I will speak to later, I was blessed with a redeeming birth. My water broke at 5 am on Thursday, August 3, 2023. Nothing was progressing contraction wise, so I just let my life go on. Come Friday, I met with my midwife that confirmed it was amniotic fluid. She asked what I planned to do the rest of the day. I told her a play date with my son that has been long over do. The look on her face ! She wanted me to rest at home, but I felt safe and confident in my body. We were only blocks away from our home, so if anything were to go down it wouldn’t be a problem. There was worry around me that my water had been broken for too long. I gathered ingredients for a midwife brew that would induce labour. My husband asked that I take it, but deep down in my core, I knew this birth would come naturally. Fast forward, my husband’s sister came and picked up our son later that night. I knew it was time. I had so many big emotions of not only him leaving, but him also not being my only child any longer. I laboured for an hour and a half, starting at midnight, before calling our midwife and doula. Once they came it was REAL. I disassociated and felt as if I were in a different realm. Suddenly, SOMETHING WAS HAPPENING. At 4:01 AM, August 5, 2023, I birthed our beautiful daughter Earth side in our living room. She was fast and fierce. Her Leo showed. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Being in my own home, being able to rinse off in my own shower, and being tucked into my own bed after all of baby’s checks were done is indescribable. Noone to come checking in regularly, no machines or tubes, no distraction. Just myself, my husband, and our newest addition. Truly blissful.

This, unfortunately, wasn’t the same as it came to the birth of my son a few years prior.

Most people thought I was crazy when I said I was to birth at home when pregnant with my son. I just smiled and nodded, thinking the crazy thing was a hospital birth. I wanted full autonomy and no interventions. To feel and experience everything physiologically. I had read books, spoken with other mothers and fathers that birthed at home, and felt more than confident that I could too. A dear friend was our doula, and I loved our midwives. I truly believed this was the right and only choice. My water broke right at 39 weeks at 5:00 am. I calmly got out of bed and went downstairs for some preparations before gently waking my husband. He may as well have jumped out of bed and ran around in circles with the news. I told him to calm down, that I was going to go to the other bed to rest. While I did so, he set up all the fairy lights and birth pool in the living room. I then messaged our doula and midwives. I rested as I could and wanted, ate what I wanted, watched some shows, and then a movie. We had grilled cheese and soup for lunch, the sun was shining, and surges began.

Eventually though, it all becomes a blur. My contractions became VERY strong, and VERY consistent, for HOURS. It felt like it would never end. My body kept telling me to stand, but I couldn’t even do that. My husband had to hold me up. I labored on all fours, leaning on the kitchen island, no position seemed to move things along. My cervix ended up swelling shut. It was now coming on 33 hours. I was gently suggested to call for an ambulance to go to the hospital. I immediately refused. Three hours later, it was brought up again. I was so tired. I couldn’t rest, and the contractions just wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t catch my breath. It was time to make one of the most difficult decisions I had had to up to that point in my life. Give in. Give up. I would be able to rest, I was told. All I could imagine was my baby being so exhausted. Having worked for so long, for tens of hours. I eventually agreed. At 36 hours labouring at home unmedicated, the ambulance was called.

Nearly immediately, I knew my dream was about to come crashing down. I heard one of the paramedics say, “we tried to have a homebirth.” I knew I was doomed. I begged them not to strap me in, having had hospital trauma years prior. I was strapped down for transport and sent for what felt was my doom. Once admitted, I learnt that my Dr was male. I was devastated. I was told he must perform a cervical check before anything else. I begged for a nurse to do it. Surely, they are capable. The answer was an adamant “no.” It had to be him. The alternative was a c-section. This set me into hysterics. I did not want a strange old man shoving his fingers up my vagina without my consent. But I did not want a c-section. One of my fears was checked off. Lack of consent. I was screaming and crying to my husband in the bathroom, “THIS ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING!” over and over.

Next came an epidural so that I could rest. It was so painful. Another fear checked off. Intervention.

I was told, “none of that yoga breathing!” as I tried to breath down my baby. I was told to, “Stop screaming! This isn’t like in the movies!” I was told, “it can’t hurt”, that the pain and wave I am feeling is not a contraction. Even though, after over 40 hours, I was well aware of what a contraction felt like.

I was lucky enough to have “been able” to have the nurse sit the bed all the way up so that I could bare down on my knees when I knew it was time to push. Again, I was told to stop the “yoga breathing” that I was to hold my breath and push that way. I was at my absolute breaking point.

My baby then began to crown. Now. Get this. I was told to stop pushing because the Dr. was not in the room. I. Saw. RED. These people were no longer going to take away ANYTHING from me or my baby. In one big raw push, I ROARED my baby out. Our son. Our Ethan Benjamin. Our trooper and warrior. His name means “strong and enduring”. It can’t be more fitting. We stuck it out together and made it through. Regardless of unforeseen circumstances that tarnished our birth story.

Birth isn’t always beautiful, but your body is.

I am a divine. I am strong. I am woman.

-S

Many Forms of Motherhood

Motherhood comes in countless forms—biological, adopted, chosen, and beyond. Each path is unique, but no matter how it unfolds, it leaves a mark on your soul. The moment you see that first positive test or hear the news that a little one is on the way, life shifts irrevocably. From that point forward, you are forever changed.

Motherhood is raw, real, and relentless. It’s piles of diapers and endless laundry, sore breasts, and bottles that need washing and sanitizing. It’s sleepless nights that stretch into endless days. It’s feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, guilty, and at times, lost. Yet, it’s also bursts of joy, pride, excitement, and the kind of love that makes it all worthwhile. In just one day, you can feel the highest highs and the lowest lows—doubt intertwined with empowerment.

And then there are the physical changes. One mother shared her story with me:

“Did you know that upon conception, your bladder shrinks to a fraction of its size to make room for the growing uterus and womb? No wonder we have to pee all the time! My body immediately began to change. Organs moved, muscles loosened, and shifted. Sometimes, I didn’t even feel like myself. Yet, in those moments, I also felt like a sacred vessel, allowing a tiny human to thrive. I was blessed with the power to grow and build LIFE!”

Babies are considered full term at 39 weeks—anything beyond that is a bonus. But, as every mother knows, babies don’t always follow the plan. Sometimes, they have their own timeline, teaching us early on that control is an illusion and that motherhood is about embracing the unexpected.

Love Triumphs Pain

Due to complications, I ended up in the hospital a month early on a Thursday night and was told I was going to have the baby that weekend. Not even 12 hours later, I was being induced on Friday morning.

Although, I didn’t have much say about whether the baby was coming, I was able to have a say about whether I wanted a medicated birth: which I did not. Because I didn’t want an epidural and I was induced, I was warned about the risk of having to have an emergency caesarean and being put under. I told the doctor and nurses the only pain medication I wanted was laughing gas, which ended up making me nauseous in the first 20 minutes and I didn’t end up using it.

I was in full control of the positions I was in during labour: laying on my side was the most comfortable and when the pressure of the baby moving his way down made me feel like I was going to poop; I was able to sit on the toilet for about 10 minutes before the nurses encouraged me to go back to the bed. When I was able to make it back, I leaned on the edge of the bed until it was no longer comfortable and laid back down on my side. The nurse brought me a peanut ball to use to help relieve pain and move things along.

When I reached 10 centimetres dilated, I had no idea the bright lights were on and the birthing team was in the room: I was on my side with my face shoved into a pillow so I could scream when the contractions would become super strong. As soon as I had birthed the baby and he was placed on my leg, I forgot about all the pain I had felt during labour. Delivering the placenta almost felt more painful than delivering the baby, but the pain would come and go because I was distracted by my baby and the fact that I just successfully birthed him.

In a matter of a few hours, I was lucky enough to have a natural and unmedicated birth to a healthy baby. I would not have been able to get through it without my amazing support team: my mom and fiancé. Even after experiencing an unmedicated birth, I would not change a single thing and would choose no pain drugs again and again.

I am brave. I am resilient. I am powerful.

-C

The Power of a Birth Team: Supporting Mom Through Every Moment

A birth team can include many different people—family members, doctors, nurses, midwives, and specialists—all contributing their unique support. Each person plays an important role, offering medical care, emotional support, or practical assistance to help both mother and baby through the birthing process.

One essential role on the team is that of a doula. While doctors, nurses, and midwives are primarily focused on the baby’s health, a doula is there for the mother—her advocate, companion, and emotional anchor. Doulas provide continuous support, offering comfort measures, guidance, and encouragement. They create a safe, nurturing environment where the mother feels empowered and cared for, no matter how the birth unfolds.

A doula’s presence can make a world of difference, reminding mothers that they are never alone in their journey, and that their strength and voice matter every step of the way. 

Holding Space: The Sacred Role of a Doula

When I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, I felt incredibly fortunate to have already learned what a doula was, and I immediately added one to my birth team. I never imagined I would one day have the honour of becoming a doula myself. But after experiencing a challenging birth, I discovered, through the journey of healing, that attending births and sitting beside new parents was truly my calling.

Birthwork lives deep within our DNA, carried through the lineage of midwives, aunties, doulas, and birth attendants who have paved the way before us. I’ll never forget the first birth I attended as a doula—the mother welcomed her baby earthside with such strength and grace, and it moved me profoundly.

Since then, many others have welcomed me into their sacred journey after learning they were pregnant, inviting me to hold space and witness their transformation through the labyrinth of Labour Land.

Birth and the postpartum period are filled with blood, sweat, and tears—but they also hold the closest encounter with the Divine Spirit, be it God, Creator, Allah, Mother Earth, or whatever name we give to the force that brings forth life.

No matter how many births I’ve attended—whether physiological, medicated, or caesarean; at home, in a hospital, or in a birthing center—I remain humbled by the raw, powerful magic of birth.

With Gratitude,

Asha

Where Love Lives: Bringing Babies into the World at Home

I knew before I was pregnant that I wanted to have my babies at home. My husband was on board because I was so confident. We both believed in me. There were many similarities between all three of my pregnancies and births, and I cherish the stories of our babies coming into the world. I love that homebirth is a normal thing for our kids and that my experiences helped expand our friends and family members' perspectives on pregnancy and birth. 

After each birth I felt a sense of pride and strength that I have not experienced anywhere else in my life. I loved the comfort of being at home. I needed the control over my body and movements, not someone telling me how to position so it would be easier for them. I wanted to know the midwives I was inviting to my births and have a relationship before I was at my most vulnerable. I did not want to think about when was the right time to go to the hospital (and would not have made it for my first). I focused on myself knowing that I was exactly where I planned to be. 

We did not know what we were having but my instinct on girl, boy, boy was correct. They were all born around 39 weeks in the bathtub or birth pool and were very fast labours- the first two less than two hours. I do not know what a stomach contraction feels like because it was my back throbbing the whole time. Afterwards being in my own bed with all of my familiar comforts and my tiny new person was lovely. 

For the second and third births it was very special to have our kids at home with us. We didn't plan alternative childcare because I did not want anyone else in the house and I knew it would be ok. The kids came to my midwife appointments and were excited and as prepared as they needed to be for their age. 

Our almost 4 year old woke up in the middle of the night when she heard me labouring and was so excited peeking around the corner when her brother was born at 3:04am. For the next birth my almost 3 year old son saw that the birth pool that had been set up for a week finally had water in it and he was getting ready to climb in with me. Although that was not the cute distraction I needed at the time it is a sweet memory. He and his sister were in a room nearby watching morning cartoons until the baby's head was born. Instead of sliding out on the same push like my first two, there was a pause between contractions with just the head underwater. I told Dad to run and get the kids and both older siblings watched me bring baby out of the water with the next push. After waiting months for their baby to come they discovered at the same time as us that they had a little brother. 

I am so happy I was able to have all my babies at home and hope I inspired others to do the same if they want to. A few weeks after our youngest was born my then 6 year old daughter thanked me for working so hard to have the baby. What an amazing Mom moment- I love that my kids already have an insider's understanding and acceptance of birth. It is not the silly scenes you see in movies. It can be full of excitement, joy, struggle, pain, sounds, movements, patience, incredible strength and determination. I am sad that part of my life has passed, but am extremely proud of myself and the confidence I had in creating each of my birth stories.

-A

The Birth Plan: Hopes, Dreams, and the Unexpected

Creating a birth plan is a common and important part of preparing for labor and delivery. It’s more than just a list of preferences—it’s a thoughtful reflection of your hopes and dreams for how the birth experience will unfold. A birth plan typically outlines key elements like the desired atmosphere, pain management options, postpartum care, and specific newborn procedures. It’s a way to communicate your wishes clearly to your birth team, helping ensure that your vision is understood and respected.

Many mothers spend hours crafting this plan, carefully considering every detail to create the ideal birth scenario. It becomes a source of comfort—a way to feel prepared and empowered in the face of the unknown. However, as many mothers discover, birth doesn’t always go according to plan. Despite the most meticulous preparation, unexpected situations can arise, requiring flexibility and resilience.

Sometimes, the journey of childbirth requires letting go of the envisioned path and embracing a new one. In those moments, it’s important to remember that while plans may change, the strength and love guiding the process remain unwavering.

From Dream to Reality: Navigating an Unplanned Birth

At 23, on the verge of having my first baby, I toured the hospital. The nurse's mention of the "ring of fire" during the birthing room visit terrified me, a term I'd never heard. Despite this fear, I held a strong belief in my body's ability to give birth naturally, echoing the experiences of women for millennia. My carefully written "birth plan" reflected this conviction.

However, my daughter arrived 12 days overdue, necessitating an induction. Labor began intensely and quickly. My water broke, and we rushed to the hospital. The pain upon arrival was overwhelming with each contraction, triggering panic. I walked to the nurses' station, desperately seeking Tylenol or anything for relief, my fear of needles paramount. They offered morphine, explaining oral medication wouldn't suffice. I hesitated, returning to my room to consider it. After two more grueling hours, I returned, begging for the injection. Twelve hours had passed.

Following the morphine shot, my labor stalled, requiring a second induction. Another six hours of labor ensued, and I was moved to the birthing room. A trip to the shared bathroom revealed a horrifying scene in the adjacent room – blood everywhere, a stark contrast to the idealized vision of childbirth. Fear gripped me; this looked nothing like a miracle.

After 24 hours, the doctor's empathetic expression as he informed me I needed a C-section was clear. My partner had returned to our room to sleep, and exhaustion washed over me. A desperate thought surfaced: "I've changed my mind, I don't want a baby. Just let me go home." I woke my partner to share the news of the impending surgery, feeling utterly devastated by my body's perceived failure.

The cesarian delivery brought my baby into the world, and the difficult labor faded almost instantly. I would do it all again without hesitation. My experience was nothing like I had envisioned. Perhaps my doctor should have disregarded my "birth plan," emphasizing the unpredictability of the process. Ultimately, the goal – a beautiful, healthy baby – was achieved.

Pregnancy and labor are indeed messy, unpredictable, and undeniably miraculous.

-D

Motherhood is a journey defined by resilience, vulnerability, and unwavering love. It doesn’t come in one shape or form, nor does it follow a predictable path. Whether the journey unfolds at home, in a hospital, with a supportive birth team, or through unexpected challenges, every story holds its own beauty and power. Through these personal reflections, we honor the mothers who embody strength through every contraction, every sleepless night, and every transformative moment. Motherhood is more than a role—it’s a testament to the human spirit, the ability to nurture life, and the courage to embrace the unknown. To all the mothers, in every form and story—you are powerful, you are remarkable, and today, we celebrate you.

Happy Mother’s Day

This Blog was written by one of my dear friends and client’s Miss S. Thank you Sarah for sharing your story and the stories of others.